WORLD MENTAL HELTH DAY IS 10/10.

DAY 1: Forgive the Past, but Remember the Lessons

Jesus said he came that we “may have life, and have it  abundantly.” That’s it. That’s what we’re after. A life that  is mentally, emotionally, and spiritually abundant. So, on  these next few pages we’ll look at ten markers on the path  toward lives of fulfillment and well-being. 

Here is the first: 

Stop carrying regrets and guilt from another era of your life.  Carrying that baggage can be the source of both anxiety  and depression. As Jesus said, “Today’s trouble is enough  for today.” 

When it comes to an old remorse or an old emotional  wound: Either bless it or address it. 

Bless it. Some of those regrets can, ironically, bless your  life and make you a better person. As it has been said,  “Sometimes you win… sometimes you learn.” Transform  those missteps into learning experiences making you a  wiser person for the mistake. Think of the pain that event caused you as the tuition you paid for the education, the  life lesson you received. 

Either bless it… or address it. If the burden you are carrying  is more of an open wound, then you have to address it.  Find your way successfully to work it through. Come to the  place where you can forgive yourself if it was self-inflicted  or forgive the other if you were harmed. Find your way to  clean the wound, dress it, and finally let it heal. 

As you reflect on this today, of what do you need to let go…  or to work through? Take a few moments, perhaps right  now, and consider this question. By what issues are you  burdened? Use those moments… thoughtfully, reflectively,  prayerfully… to discern. From which of those old distressing  issues are you now ready to move on? 

DAY 2: Deal with Your Emotions Before You File Them Away

One of the origins of mild to moderate depression is from  the repression of emotions. Something happens in the  living of our lives that angers us, saddens us, in some way  disturbs us. We don’t want to feel it, so we shove it down.  And later… perhaps months, perhaps years… we wonder  why we are depressed. We are depressed, sapped of life  energy, from the unconscious task of keeping the lid on all  those emotions that are still down there bubbling away. 

Bring it up. Get it out. Give it a voice. 

The way I’ve always said it is, “Repression brings depression;  expression brings a resurrection” – a new life, a new day.  But I like even better the words of a dear elderly lady who  once said, “Well, I just figure when life gives you tribulations,  the good Lord expects you to tribulate.” 

So often I sit with those who have suffered a major loss, dealing  with the depth of their grief. “Give it a voice,” I urge them. 

Cry it out, talk it out, or write it out – for those who journal. 

When something has disturbed you, has rocked your life,  don’t bury it – deal with it. Acknowledge it. “You can’t  heal what you don’t feel.” It may be a particularly difficult  emotion for you… like grief or anger or the frustration of  helplessness. Muster the courage. 

Instead of pushing it down, keep it in your awareness, and  find your best way to express it. Perhaps it will be simply  to talk it out – with your best friend, your spouse, whoever  is your go-to confidant. But give it a voice. Balance  the emotional input with verbal output. Share it with  someone you trust. Share it with someone who cares. 

Tribulate! 

DAY 3: Live with Gratitude

Often, we lose touch with all that we are and all with  which we have been blessed. Then our fragile egos and  old insecurities kick in, and we start to focus – no, obsess  – on what we don’t have: ability, achievement, affluence,  whatever. The result is anxiety, stress, and, yes, depression.  We put ourselves down, and, in so doing, we bring  ourselves down. 

Social media then stirs the pot. As you might have noticed,  it highlights nothing but the very pinnacle of everyone’s  lives. We don’t see a lot of postings of folks doing yard work  or reconciling their monthly bank statements. We only see  the best of their lives as we live all of ours. 

Let’s face it: it’s such a first world problem – but we live in  the first world, and it is a problem. Many get increasingly  down on themselves. So, it is no surprise their spirit and  their mood are indeed down. What they need is a reality  reset so they can again see the whole picture of their lives. 

That is where gratitude comes in. Gratitude is the beginning of the answer. It is only the beginning, but it  is an important beginning. The vast majority of us are  blessed out of our minds. We just lose touch with it. 

As we are consciously, intentionally grateful for the  blessings in our lives…we intuitively recalibrate our  perspectives. 

We reset our attitudinal default position. We reframe how  we see the lives we lead. If our perspective is truly one of  gratitude… our focus is reset from the lives we don’t have to  how truly blessed we are. And through the blessing we feel  an unmistakable grace. 

It’s interesting, the words “gratitude” and “grace” each  come from the Latin “gratia.” When I am grateful, I  experience grace.

Day 4: Be Generous

Generous with our time, our compassion, our kindness.  Generosity is what Jesus taught. It’s what he lived. It’s who  he was. 

One morning, as I was getting in the car leaving for the  office, Karen opened the back door and called out to me,  “Ron, go be a ray of God’s light.” Can you imagine being  sent off with that inspiration? 

Well, her words to me are mine to you: Go be a ray of God’s light.  Be generous. It is a hurting world out there. They need you. 

I was waiting to mail my package at the Post Office. Finally,  I was next. The customer ahead of me, however, asked  every question that could have been asked about mailing  a package – and with a tone less than courteous. Yet, she  happened to have found the most gracious staff member in  the postal system. Patient, kind, with no hint of impatience. 

They finished, and I stepped up to the counter. “You were  remarkably courteous to the lady ahead of me,” I said to  him. I shall always remember his response. As he took my  package, he said simply, “Well, you just never know what folks are going through.” 

Be generous. 

So, you may well ask, what does generosity have to do with our  living abundantly? We are, after all, talking about our mental  and emotional well-being. To be blunt: What’s in it for us? 

Absolutely nothing. When we do it well, there is absolutely  nothing in it for us… on the front end. We are totally  focused on what’s in it for them. And when we are – and  just ask anyone who is invested in a life of service – when  we are caring for their needs we discover a life of meaning.  It is the meaning that comes from truly making a  difference. And we are then profoundly changed. 

“What do I still lack?” asked the young man of Jesus. Only  one thing… a generous spirit. And the scriptures record  that, having just been given the winning number to the  mental, emotional, and spiritual lottery, “he walked sadly  away,” – for he was a man of wealth and power. 

Be generous. 

Day 5: Get More Sabbath Into Your Life

Be still. Be quiet. We tend to stay so busy. Remember the  commandment about keeping the Sabbath holy? “Sabbath”  comes from the Hebrew “shabath” – from which our term  “sabbatical” also comes – which simply means “to rest.” 

Develop your Sabbaths, the times when you will  intentionally rest. Spiritually, emotionally rest. Carve out  your windows of time when you will turn it off, shut it down,  put it away – not just everything electronic, but anything  distracting. Clock out of responsibilities for a time. 

Make it a spiritual time – be in the still, quiet presence  of God’s own Spirit. I can’t imagine how one can thrive  emotionally without thriving spiritually. They are just  too intertwined. Have a spiritual life that is intimate and  personal. Remember that faith is a relationship, not a set  of beliefs. How can we have a life that thrives emotionally  without the Spirit of God flowing through it? 

The Psalmist wrote, “Be still and know that I am God.”  (Psalm 46:10) The very passage that invites us into a relationship with God begins with “be still.” Any form of  sacred silence begins with stillness. It begins in the quiet. 

In the stillness we connect with our souls. In the stillness we  experience God as in no other way. In the stillness we are  in touch with our deepest selves, the lives for which we are  created and to which we are called. And out of the stillness,  out of the silence, we experience peace and may well  become aware of the softly spoken voice of God. 

“And behold, the Lord passed by…” the scriptures say, and the  Lord was heard, not in the wind or the earthquake or in the  fire, but in “… a still small voice.” (I Kings 19:11-12) 

Always remember that a “still small voice” is a voice that  can only be heard in the quiet, in the silence. 

Silence invites us to those deeper places… within our hearts  and souls. 

Remember the Sabbath – it can be any day, any hour, any  moment – and keep it holy. 

Day 6: Our Values are of Limited Worth until They become our Virtues

Values and virtues are often thought of as being synonymous.  They are closely related, yet there is a difference. Values are  beliefs and ideals we hold in high regard. Virtues are beliefs  and ideals we hold in high regard – AND have integrated into  our living. 

Values are what I believe. 

Virtues are what I live. 

Values are my attitudes. 

Virtues are my attributes. 

Values are potential. 

Virtues are potential… realized. 

To believe in courage, for instance, is a value. 

To be courageous is a virtue. 

Values and virtues are moral, ethical terms – to which  there is a faith parallel. In the language of our faith, the  distinction between values and virtues is being “created in the image of God” and “growing into God’s likeness.” 

The image of God is the blessing of grace with which we  are born. It’s God’s own DNA. It’s a gift. Inherited. It’s  like one of our values we believe… that may not yet have  become a virtue. 

It is when we live into God’s image within us that we begin  to grow into God’s likeness. 

We are created in the image… and urged to live and grow  into the likeness. 

Values are what we believe. 

Virtues are what we live. 

The image of God is the Divine potential within us. The likeness of God is that Divine potential realized, lived. 

“You are the light of the world.” 

“So let your light shine.”

Day 7: Live with Resiliency

In this life we will experience disappointment, heartache,  and possibly a tragedy. If life victimizes you, do not accept  “victim” as your identity. Be resilient. 

Ours is a faith of resiliency. We believe that there is  resurrection behind each of life’s crucifixions. Life, for all of  us, is filled with challenge, difficulty, and struggle. Our faith  says we can not only survive, but thrive. 

“God can use what God didn’t choose,” as it has been said.  God can use events, circumstances, suffering – that God  would never have wished for us – ultimately for our good…  thanks to the strength and courage we call resiliency. 

The Latin origin of the word “resiliency” meant “to leap  back,” from the heartache or the distress or the wound. To  leap back, to return to where we were prior to the wound,  which means, of course, to heal. First, we leap back, we  recover, we heal – and then we move forward, the stronger  for having been there. We grow into someone we have  never been before. 

Circumstances may be out of our control, but how we respond to them is precisely within our control. So, take control. 

Following any traumatic event, most people will return  to their normal emotional state within a few months.  For a minority the stress will linger significantly. We are  all familiar with that as PTSD – post-traumatic stress  disorder – the on-going distress from a traumatic event.  Yet, researchers have discovered another minority who  stand out from the norm, and the name given to their  response to trauma is PTG. Post-traumatic growth. They  have learned from what they have been through and have  returned the stronger for it. 

J. K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series, spoke  at a Harvard commencement of the earlier time in her life  of abject poverty. She was just beginning to write and was  a single mom without a dime. She was barely avoiding  homelessness. In reflecting on that, she wrote, “And so,  rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I built  the rest of my life.” 

Resiliency. 

Your best, your finest self, may well be yet to come. 

DAY 8: Find Your Community

 Life is to be lived in relationship. Remember when Jesus  said, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, I  am there among them.” In relationship, God’s spirit can be  felt. Those moments together with those we love can be  sacred moments. 

As Jacob said to Esau, “For truly to see your face is like  seeing the face of God, since you have received me with  such favor.” 

In this social media age, we must remember not to mistake  the casual for the substantial. 

A network is not a community. I can’t click “Add a friend”  and consider that a relationship. 

Perhaps you saw the cartoon of the two men standing at  the back of a basically empty sanctuary before a funeral  service. One said to the other, “I’m surprised at this  attendance. He had over 2000 friends on Facebook.” 

In what is likely the most comprehensive study on true  happiness – over 75 years following the same group, who 

are now in their 90s – Harvard researchers found the one  common element to true happiness and life satisfaction is…  close, meaningful relationships. 

Develop your community. Surround yourself with those  who are good for you. 

If you haven’t found those relationships, find them. If you have, embrace them, enjoy them, savor them. 

DAY 9: Discover Your Purpose

Discover the overarching purpose for your life. Discover the purpose for this particular chapter of your life. And discover your purpose in this next moment of your life. 

Your purpose in life is where you will express your values. 

Your purpose for this chapter of your life is where you will  make a difference. 

Your purpose in this next moment is where it will ALL be  lived out. 

Be intentional. 

Purpose is to have an inspired and resolved clarity of  direction. 

As Mordecai said to Esther in the Old Testament, “Who  knows? Perhaps you have come to royal dignity for just  such a time as this.” We may not have come to royal  dignity, but we each have arrived here, at this place. And  the questions for us are the same: 

For what have you come to this place in your life? 

For what is this your time? 

To what do you feel led, even called? 

Discern a clear and purposeful sense of what your life is to  be about. Then… live it! 

In the living of your life’s purpose, you will find your life’s  meaning. 

DAY 10: Be True to the Person God created Your to Be

Be who you are. Find your voice and speak it with authority. 

Beneath layers of a lifetime of experience, of trial and error, of  success and failure, that shape the identity of who we become… 

beneath the image, the personal branding, the facades… 

beneath all of that, is your true identity. It is the “Christ in  you” as Paul phrased it – or what Fr. Thomas Merton called  our “true self.” 

Discern it. Discover it. Then, with God’s guidance, be the  author of your own life story. Do not let someone else  write it for you. As Paul put it, “Do not be conformed to this  world…” Rather, be guided by others’ counsel. Be inspired  by their lives. Then discover the life God created in you –  and the path to which God calls you… and be true to it. 

And leave nothing on the table. Be ALL that God created  you to be. When I look back on the missteps of my life  most are not from moments I did something so wrong or  hurtful… but those times when something was called for –  some action, some word, some deed. And I did nothing. 

Benjamin Franklin said it beautifully, “As we must account  for every idle word, so we must account for every idle  silence.” 

Live boldly. Live authentically. Live intentionally. Leave  nothing on the table. Let there be very few regrets. 

One of my favorite stories was told by the author Elie Wiesel.  There was a Hasidic rabbi named Zusya. Zusya was a timid  man, a man who concealed more than he revealed. One day  Zusya stood before his congregation and said, “When I die  and have to present myself before the celestial tribunal, they  will not ask me, ‘Zusya, why were you not Moses?’ Because I  would say, ‘Moses was a prophet, and I am not.’ 

“They would not say, ‘Zusya, why were you not Jeremiah?’ For I  would say, ‘Jeremiah was a great writer, and I am not.’ And they  would not say, “Why were you not Rabbi Akiba?’ For I would  tell them, ‘Rabbi Akiba was a great teacher, and I am not.’ 

“But then they will say, ‘Zusya, why were you not Zusya?’  And to this, I will have no answer.” 

Be the unique human life that God created in you. Be who  you are. And be all that you are.